One of the biggest challenges I faced when writing Forever Kalei’s Mom was coming up with effective words to illustrate the unimaginable emotions and thoughts associated with grief. That same challenge was present when it came to explaining to my support system what I needed and did not need when it came to regular universe event days such as my birthday. What worked in my Lifetime Ago did not fit in my new world and different life but I was helpless to explain that. My 50th birthday (Chapter 22) is a perfect example of how good intentions, without the proper information, can go oh so very bad.

Without that informational clarity, trying to figure out how to engage the grieving in regular universe events like their birthday, is pretty much trial and error. It took a few years, but eventually I learned to articulate my expectations and my friends and family learned to listen. My sister Karen, dogged in her determination to keep me living, took the time to study and learn what worked and what did not work for her grieving sister. That she is as tuned into my world as she is never ceases to amaze me.

It was my birthday a few weeks ago. This birthday, like she has on so many others, Karen dropped off flowers and a Carlton Card. When I took it out of the envelope and started reading my eyes started to tear and a tightness gripped my chest. As tears turned into sobs my mind kept repeating, this is love, this is love.  

When I got to the end and read the special way she signed the card, I could not help but smile through my tears. On this day, my sister found the perfect words. I could hear my Kalei’s voice and I felt my sisters love; unimaginable and imaginable…she captured both worlds perfectly in the gift I was given that day.

Something that special needs to be shared….