Tag Archives: lifetime ahead
In Loving Memory Kalei Jasmine Holizki January 23, 1985 – August 20, 2001 “My Sweetie Pie, 15 years…15!!! and still, the unspeakable pain continues. Over the years, I have become very familiar with that pain … it is a part of me now. It took a lot of hard work – filled with many heartbreaking trips and stumbles – but I have learned to welcome happiness, love and yes, even joy back into my life. They have to live alongside…..
In the months following Kalei’s death, I sorted through every photograph and DVD (the digital era was just getting started and new technology was still expensive) I owned. Picture after picture, I separated the ones that included her from the ones that did not. Anything taken prior to January 23, 1985 was deemed unimportant and discarded. I thought I threw out pretty much every image that documented my life prior to her birth, but for reasons I can only guess at now, a few stragglers managed to survive the purge. I am…..
I keep telling myself, “Lorene, don’t worry about your A Lifetime Ahead journey — the worst has already happened, it can only get easier from here on in!” Or, “You have already used up the sucks-to-be-me quota given to you for this life so it should be easier going forward.” Apparently I was wrong, at least on the latter. My new dating venture sure is proof of that! Yes, maybe my expectations of the online dating process was a tad unrealistic…ALL RIGHT ALREADY…extremely unrealistic, but sheesh, how…..
One Sunday about a month ago, I was snuggled up in bed, half awake and half asleep; when my mind threw these words at me…grief does not define me! “Wow,” I said, “that came out of nowhere!” It was ‘said’ in such a powerful way that I was well and truly awake. “Dangit”, I said out loud to an empty room, “there is no going back to sleep now.” After trundling downstairs and making a cup of coffee, I sat…..
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