Tag Archives: grief
I have a very unique relationship with this young man. You see, Jarrett died from a brain aneurysm nearly four years before I knew he existed; he was 13 years old. Shortly after Kalei’s funeral service I became aware of a grave due north of where she is buried. Whenever I tended her marker, my eyes would be drawn to this other grave. Eventually I walked over to it, read the words imprinted on it and just, well, started talking to the person whose name was on that marker – Jarrett John Alley. I would say things like, “Your parents take such good…..
My sister-in-law Carol belongs to a country gospel band based out of the Christ Lutheran Church in Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada. The band is called Prairie Spirit. In addition to being the lead singer, Carol also writes and records her own material. I Love You More, a CD she recorded with her band and her granddaughters, is a hit with kids of all ages. The sing-a-long nature of the CD makes it a must have for grandparents and parents everywhere. While I would have had a…..
One of the biggest challenges I faced when writing Forever Kalei’s Mom was coming up with effective words to illustrate the unimaginable emotions and thoughts associated with grief. That same challenge was present when it came to explaining to my support system what I needed and did not need when it came to regular universe event days such as my birthday. What worked in my Lifetime Ago did not fit in my new world and different life but I was helpless to explain that. My 50th birthday (Chapter 22) is a perfect example of how…..
Prior to Kalei’s death, I did not give much thought to the nuances of living a future based existence. Like most people, I assumed that my lifetime ahead events and the time triggers associated with them, were attainable imaginings, but in no way were they fixed into place if I did not want them to be or if I changed my mind. After she died, I came to appreciate how wrong I was about that last part. You see, when…..
When death happens out of sync with the circle of life, a strange type of time mapping begins – at least it did for me. It started with identifying current time in hours since Kalei’s death, rather than the actual clock time itself. It was not 6:00 o’clock or 10:00 o’clock; it was 10 hours since she died and then 14 hours since she died and so on. Far too soon, I had to acknowledge the word ‘day’ in my new time perspective……
One of the things grieving Mom’s tell me about is the discomfort they encounter when trying to introduce the name of their scary sick, terminally ill or dead child into a conversation. To a person, they cite tears as the main contributing factor. Nine times out of ten; no matter how hard both parties try and hold their emotions in check, as soon as that child’s name is spoken the waterworks start. When that happens, regardless of who is doing the crying, both parties instinctively…..
The short answer to that question is, “No, it does not, at least not the unimaginable kind.” That being said, like most things in life, grief presents itself in degrees. The percentage reached is dependent on the physical who, what, when, where and why of each grief driven event. If the experience is imaginable the peak might be high initially, but the mind quickly takes charge and forces the grief driven pain into manageable levels. However, when the event is unimaginable,…..
If you would like to see the entire interview please go to CTV Calgary, click on CTV News at Noon, click on CTV News at Noon for Calgary September 21, 2015. You will have to ‘patiently’ wait through 2 commercials 🙁 and then drag the curser to 32:16 to view the entire interview.
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