It turns out the lighting of Kalei’s birthday candles was as much for us as it was for her. On this day I have no trouble imagining that Kalei and the angels are dancing for us in the images below. It is her way of saying, “Thank-you for remembering and I love you all so very much!” My angel shining brightly:) Oh how they danced!
As always, when an important Kalei event day draws near I spend time thinking about what this particular date means to me in my grieving journey. While every one of my child’s birth dates are bittersweet now, I am blessed with amazing friends and family who temper the bitterness by continuing to recognize this important day in my (and Kalei’s) life. Other than Kalei’s 17th birthday, the one immediately following her death when I did not understand d-e-a-d and tried…..
This may come as a surprise to those of you who only know me through my book or blog, but I can actually be a person of few words. There are many times when I think that a picture does in fact speak louder than words. When I look at the following images, I feel like they clearly portray the three lifetimes I have incorporated into my world. While there is sorrow, I also see the beauty and wonder in each and every…..
This is the 2nd post I wrote about Christmas 2002. I find it fascinating to read now as I see how my mind automatically searched for ways to not only survive Kalei’s death, but learn how to do so in a thoughtful manner. The mind is clearly an amazing tool. Even when we ‘think’ we do not want to live or engage in life anymore, the human will to survive pushes us to do more and be more. Without being…..
The second Christmas after Kalei died, I wrote the following on Kalei’s forum. To those who did not have the opportunity to follow those posts, I would refer to Kalei’s gravesite as her ‘room’ in my stories. This is what I wrote on December 1, 2002… Last year I could not face Christmas, so I just pretended there was no such thing as a holiday season. I told my mind to treat it like any other day of the year…..
Of late, I have noticed people exhibiting strange behavior when they come over to my house. As soon as they walk in the door they give a distracted, “Hi”, give me a quick hug and then almost push me aside in their rush to get into the main part of the house. I am left standing in the front entrance wondering what the heck was going on. When I caught up with them, I would catch them standing in my…..
My sister-in-law Carol belongs to a country gospel band based out of the Christ Lutheran Church in Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada. The band is called Prairie Spirit. In addition to being the lead singer, Carol also writes and records her own material. I Love You More, a CD she recorded with her band and her granddaughters, is a hit with kids of all ages. The sing-a-long nature of the CD makes it a must have for grandparents and parents everywhere. While I would have had a…..
Prior to Kalei’s death, I did not give much thought to the nuances of living a future based existence. Like most people, I assumed that my lifetime ahead events and the time triggers associated with them, were attainable imaginings, but in no way were they fixed into place if I did not want them to be or if I changed my mind. After she died, I came to appreciate how wrong I was about that last part. You see, when…..
The short answer to that question is, “No, it does not, at least not the unimaginable kind.” That being said, like most things in life, grief presents itself in degrees. The percentage reached is dependent on the physical who, what, when, where and why of each grief driven event. If the experience is imaginable the peak might be high initially, but the mind quickly takes charge and forces the grief driven pain into manageable levels. However, when the event is unimaginable,…..
If you would like to see the entire interview please go to CTV Calgary, click on CTV News at Noon, click on CTV News at Noon for Calgary September 21, 2015. You will have to ‘patiently’ wait through 2 commercials 🙁 and then drag the curser to 32:16 to view the entire interview.