Every year at this time I begin the process of writing Kalei’s annual In Memoriam. As she will have been dead 15 years this August 20th, I find myself acknowledging another milestone. I don’t know why this is but for some reason increments of 5 and 10 feel BIGGER as far as her death anniversary date goes and this year is no different…15 feel REALLY BIG.
Maybe that is why I found myself looking back at all the earlier memoriam submissions…something I have never done before. You see, from early on I wrote each as if I was writing to Kalei. While the earlier submissions were well known phrases or poems, as the years passed the In Memoriam almost turned into letters to her where I could tell her about my grief, faith, love and the incredible longing I felt for her body and her spirit.
I still don’t know what I am going to write this year…the right words always come so I try not to fuss too much about it. In the meantime, I thought I would share the previous 14 years of ‘letters’. Starting tomorrow I will post one In Memoriam a day from the past 14 years. I won’t edit the original submissions…it is important to keep the words of time honest even if the writing is, well, not my best.
My hope is that by the time you read year 15 on August 20th you will be able to see the ebb and flow of my grief journey…from a different perspective.
