August 20th and another year…21
In Loving Memory Kalei Jasmine Holizki January 23, 1985 – August 20, 2001 “My Sweetie Pie, there is no doubt you left a permanent space in this world when you died. Even after all these years precious memories bring smiles. Unfulfilled dreams, well, not so much. Your spirit continues to be a part of my life and the lives of those who love you. When we ‘feel’ a gentle Angel push in the right direction we are grateful. When we…..
In loving memory ofKalei Jasmine HolizkiJanuary 23, 1985 – August 20, 2001 “My Sweetie Pie, it’s hard to believe you have been dead for 20 years. I thought time would make today easier but decade triggers hit hard. I can’t stop myself from thinking about who, what and where you would be at 36 years, 6 months and 28 days old. Would you be career driven and me cheering you on all the way? Would you be a mom and…..
In Loving Memory Kalei Jasmine Holizki January 23, 1985 – August 20, 2001 “My Sweetie Pie, it is now 9 years since I last held you in my arms. The space between that moment and today is an ever widening chasm. All that is left of our life together is 16.5 years of well-worn memories and then nothing but memory emptiness. I struggle to grasp the harshness of that reality for the pain of knowing you are dead continues to…..
KALEI JASMINE HOLIZKI January 23, 1985 – August 20, 2001 “No matter how many years go by, you have remained at my side. In death as in life, you continue to be my strength. As long as I feel your love, the pain of your death is bearable. As long as I feel your spirit, the belief in your continued existence grows. For four years you have shown me that heaven and earth are not that far apart. Thank-you Sweetie Pie!…..
The 1st Year In Memoriam
HOLIZKI – Kalei Holizki. 1985-2001 “Time says it has been one year since you died. But my Sweetie Pie, it has only been a heartbeat. For me, you will always be just a heartbeat away. I love you soooo much!” Forever, Kalei’s Mom
My grieving journey…from a different perspective
Every year at this time I begin the process of writing Kalei’s annual In Memoriam. As she will have been dead 15 years this August 20th, I find myself acknowledging another milestone. I don’t know why this is but for some reason increments of 5 and 10 feel BIGGER as far as her death anniversary date goes and this year is no different…15 feel REALLY BIG. Maybe that is why I found myself looking back at all the earlier memoriam submissions…something…..
In the months following Kalei’s death, I sorted through every photograph and DVD (the digital era was just getting started and new technology was still expensive) I owned. Picture after picture, I separated the ones that included her from the ones that did not. Anything taken prior to January 23, 1985 was deemed unimportant and discarded. I thought I threw out pretty much every image that documented my life prior to her birth, but for reasons I can only guess at now, a few stragglers managed to survive the purge. I am…..
Of late, I have noticed people exhibiting strange behavior when they come over to my house. As soon as they walk in the door they give a distracted, “Hi”, give me a quick hug and then almost push me aside in their rush to get into the main part of the house. I am left standing in the front entrance wondering what the heck was going on. When I caught up with them, I would catch them standing in my…..
From the day she was born I called Kalei, “My Sweetie Pie”. It wasn’t because she was that sweet in those early months; in fact she was such a colicky baby, even the older Grandmothers who knew ‘everything’ about babies would quickly hand her back to me because she would not stop crying. I called her that because it was her special name and made her feel loved. Growing up Kalei was quite precocious. When she was three years old…..
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