“My Sweetie Pie, it is now six years since you died. Time continues to force your life deeper into the shadows. For most, your body is a but distant memory. Your spirit, a comfort no longer needed. Kalei, please know my love for you is too strong to ever lose sight of you in the shadows of time. I will always look for you and grieve when all I see is a dream. I will always reach for your spirit and rejoice…..
KALEI JASMINE HOLIZKI January 23, 1985 – August 20, 2001 “My Sweetie Pie, today marks five years since you died. Five years of waking up to a world filled with unspeakable pain. The screams deep inside my soul echo that tick tock agony. It does not matter – five years or fifty – I must carry this burden of sorrow until time decides it my turn to know eternity’s truth. Until then my angel, I love you and miss you…sooooo very much! “ Forever, Kalei’s Mom
KALEI JASMINE HOLIZKI January 23, 1985 – August 20, 2001 “No matter how many years go by, you have remained at my side. In death as in life, you continue to be my strength. As long as I feel your love, the pain of your death is bearable. As long as I feel your spirit, the belief in your continued existence grows. For four years you have shown me that heaven and earth are not that far apart. Thank-you Sweetie Pie!…..
KALEI JASMINE HOLIZKI January 23, 1985 – August 20, 2001 “If I could have a lifetime wish a dream that would come true, I’d pray to God with all my heart for yesterday and you. A thousand words can’t bring you back I know because I tried. Neither will a thousand tears I know because I cried. You left behind my broken heart and happy memories too. But I never wanted memories… I only wanted you.” Forever, Kalei’s Mom by…..
KALEI JASMINE HOLIZKI Born January 23, 1985 – Died August 20, 2001 “As long as I can I will look at this world, for both of us. As long as I can I will laugh with the birds, for both of us. As long as I can I will sing with the flowers, for both of us. As long as I can I will pray to the stars, for both of us.” Forever, Kalei’s Mom Part of a poem by Sancha…..
The 1st Year In Memoriam
HOLIZKI – Kalei Holizki. 1985-2001 “Time says it has been one year since you died. But my Sweetie Pie, it has only been a heartbeat. For me, you will always be just a heartbeat away. I love you soooo much!” Forever, Kalei’s Mom
My grieving journey…from a different perspective
Every year at this time I begin the process of writing Kalei’s annual In Memoriam. As she will have been dead 15 years this August 20th, I find myself acknowledging another milestone. I don’t know why this is but for some reason increments of 5 and 10 feel BIGGER as far as her death anniversary date goes and this year is no different…15 feel REALLY BIG. Maybe that is why I found myself looking back at all the earlier memoriam submissions…something…..
In the previous two posts I talked about the importance of saying the names of the dead and giving the gift of listening to survivors. I am closing out this series by discussing the wrongness of saying “you were lucky” to survivors of horrific events. Whether the person involved walked away unscathed or sustained horrific injuries, we seem to want to assign their survival to luck or chance. Is mankind (or womankind) really that shallow, thoughtless or afraid to think about death long…..
Two unimaginable events taught me how important it was to let the survivors of those events tell their story. Just like I did, they too need to tell and re-tell their experience in order to learn how to turn their unimaginable experience into an imaginable one. One boy survived the crash that killed Kalei. A couple of months after her death one of his friends phoned me and said, “Lorene, are you mad at Jared?” “Of course not” I replied,…..
Ever since I heard the newscasts about the killings in Orlando, it feels like a part of my being can’t help but reach out to the broken hearts of each and every parent being forced to learn what unimaginable really means. I try not to lean into their unspeakable pain too much, but my mind keeps repeating…I am just so very sorry! As I watched the media coverage in the days and weeks after, I could not help but notice…..
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