In Loving Memory
Kalei Jasmine Holizki
January 23, 1985 – August 20, 2001
“My Sweetie Pie, it is now 9 years
since I last held you in my arms.
The space between that moment and
today is an ever widening chasm.
All that is left of our life together is
16.5 years of well-worn memories and then
nothing but memory emptiness.
I struggle to grasp the harshness of that reality
for the pain of knowing you are dead
continues to be unspeakably great.
On the days when “at least you have your memories”
isn’t enough, I let myself dream you are still here
and imagine what life would be like with you alive.
For a moment, I get to remember
what pure happiness feels like
as I treasure a new Kalei memory.
Sadly, imagining memories cannot exist for long
if there is nothing real attached to them.
All too soon, reality forces me back
to the hard work of living with your death
and the absence of anything new.
It is at those heartbreaking moments that I turn
from the child, reach for the angel and
continue…to survive.
My Sweetie Pie I love you!
And now more than ever
I miss you soooo much!”
Forever,
Kalei’s Mom
