Monthly Archives: December 2015
This may come as a surprise to those of you who only know me through my book or blog, but I can actually be a person of few words. There are many times when I think that a picture does in fact speak louder than words. When I look at the following images, I feel like they clearly portray the three lifetimes I have incorporated into my world. While there is sorrow, I also see the beauty and wonder in each and every…..
This is the 2nd post I wrote about Christmas 2002. I find it fascinating to read now as I see how my mind automatically searched for ways to not only survive Kalei’s death, but learn how to do so in a thoughtful manner. The mind is clearly an amazing tool. Even when we ‘think’ we do not want to live or engage in life anymore, the human will to survive pushes us to do more and be more. Without being…..
The second Christmas after Kalei died, I wrote the following on Kalei’s forum. To those who did not have the opportunity to follow those posts, I would refer to Kalei’s gravesite as her ‘room’ in my stories. This is what I wrote on December 1, 2002… Last year I could not face Christmas, so I just pretended there was no such thing as a holiday season. I told my mind to treat it like any other day of the year…..
I came across this picture of Kalei taken the Christmas before she died. We were at her Uncle John and Aunty Carols farm in Saskatchewan. She looks so very happy sitting on Santa’s knee. In her face I see beauty, joy, playfulness, shyness, tenderness and love. It feels like I see all of my Sweetie Pie in that picture. See for yourself… Shortly after finding the photo, I happened upon a couple of posts I had written the second Christmas…..
Of late, I have noticed people exhibiting strange behavior when they come over to my house. As soon as they walk in the door they give a distracted, “Hi”, give me a quick hug and then almost push me aside in their rush to get into the main part of the house. I am left standing in the front entrance wondering what the heck was going on. When I caught up with them, I would catch them standing in my…..
I have a very unique relationship with this young man. You see, Jarrett died from a brain aneurysm nearly four years before I knew he existed; he was 13 years old. Shortly after Kalei’s funeral service I became aware of a grave due north of where she is buried. Whenever I tended her marker, my eyes would be drawn to this other grave. Eventually I walked over to it, read the words imprinted on it and just, well, started talking to the person whose name was on that marker – Jarrett John Alley. I would say things like, “Your parents take such good…..
My sister-in-law Carol belongs to a country gospel band based out of the Christ Lutheran Church in Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada. The band is called Prairie Spirit. In addition to being the lead singer, Carol also writes and records her own material. I Love You More, a CD she recorded with her band and her granddaughters, is a hit with kids of all ages. The sing-a-long nature of the CD makes it a must have for grandparents and parents everywhere. While I would have had a…..
One of the biggest challenges I faced when writing Forever Kalei’s Mom was coming up with effective words to illustrate the unimaginable emotions and thoughts associated with grief. That same challenge was present when it came to explaining to my support system what I needed and did not need when it came to regular universe event days such as my birthday. What worked in my Lifetime Ago did not fit in my new world and different life but I was helpless to explain that. My 50th birthday (Chapter 22) is a perfect example of how…..
Prior to Kalei’s death, I did not give much thought to the nuances of living a future based existence. Like most people, I assumed that my lifetime ahead events and the time triggers associated with them, were attainable imaginings, but in no way were they fixed into place if I did not want them to be or if I changed my mind. After she died, I came to appreciate how wrong I was about that last part. You see, when…..
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