In Loving Memory
Kalei Jasmine Holizki
January 23, 1985 – August 20, 2001
“My Sweetie Pie, I miss you so much!
After 12 years, the pain of your death
continues to wreak havoc with my being.
Caution is still warranted when I look at your life
as well as your death.
Both views are still unspeakably painful.
Whenever I open a Kalei memory door
I can’t get past the threshold.
The pain of remembering you alive
takes my breathe away.
When I try my mind screams…
I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe!
Close the door!!!
Then…
No! Keep it open, I have to look!
I just have to!!!
Sigh…it does not matter what kind they are,
memories still hurt. The good ones shouldn’t,
but they do. Maybe one day it will be different.
For now, I do my best to not look at the past.
Sometimes, when I have to open that door
to add a new angel memory,
I can’t help but catch a glimpse of your life.
At first I smile, then comes pain and then…
I turn and gently close the door.
My angel, know that I will continue to hold onto
each precious memory until the years or God
gives me the strength to walk through that doorway.
Until then, my love for you is what I hold dear.
In the end, that is all that really matters.”
Forever, Kalei’s Mom
