In Loving Memory

Kalei Jasmine Holizki

January 23, 1985 – August 20, 2001

“My Sweetie Pie, I miss you so much!

Eleven years and the longing to hold you in my arms

makes my heart ache. Why wouldn’t it?

I am still your mom!

Time, often cruel, has not managed to take

that title away from me.

What I wouldn’t give to see the door open

and hear you call out, “Hi Mummy, I’m home!”

I can see the grin of satisfaction on your face

when I return your greeting with hugs and words

of how much I love you. When I imagine really hard,

I can almost hear you say, “I love you too Mummy!”

Then reality reminds me this moment is but a dream

and I will never hear you say those words again.

In desperation, I reach for more distant memories

of our time together. Some of those hold no pain…

holding you for hours as a baby, your first steps

with your tiny fingers holding tightly onto mine and

elementary school turning into junior high as

I marveled at the woman I saw you becoming.

Sadly, my journey down memory lane always ends with,

“I’m sorry, your daughter was killed at the scene.”

I stop then…I simply cannot look at your death memory

for very long. Maybe one day…

For now, I keep you alive in my heart.

As long as I can hold onto you in that way

I know forever still means forever…

I can live with that.”

Forever, Kalei’s Mom