Miss Ellie, while originally bought for Kalei, became pretty much my dog. I talk about her quite a bit in the book.

She was fiercely protective of both of Kalei and me — if a strange man got anywhere near us when she was around, he immediately received quite a talking-to by Miss Ellie. Trust me, when she put her body in front of her ‘family’ and let out her deep booming “woof, woof”, it was instinctive for people to freeze in place. Once she got to know you, your presence was welcome, but she never lost sight of the fact that you were guests, not family. The only exception to that rule was the first time she encountered Sandy and Jack at the cemetery.

One Sunday afternoon, they were standing at Jarrett’s grave when we arrived. When I opened the car door, Miss Ellie took off before I could get her leash on. She raced across the grass, heading straight for Sandy and Jack. I ran after her in a vain attempt to get to Jack before she did — there was no doubt in my mind she would be aggressive with this new male stranger.

To my surprise, Miss Ellie runs up to the two of them and starts giving them the family treatment! She is wagging her tail, friendly as all get out. If I did not know better, I would have said they were her long lost friends. Somehow, whether it was through the spirit of our children, or the familiarity of their scent at the cemetery, she uncharacteristically adopted this couple the first time she met them.

During my grief years Miss Ellie became my confidant, cuddle partner, life to come home to and my ‘person’ to love and take care of…she, more than anyone else, is why I am here today.

I will always owe a debt of gratitude to this beautiful and wonderful creature

that gave so much, and asked for so little in return…

I honestly think of her,

in life and in death,

as my best friend.

Miss Ellie joined Kalei on December 23, 2008. What was left of my broken heart, took another hit that day. But at the same time, her leaving also eased my grief pain a bit because I knew Kalei and Miss Ellie were together again, and that would make both of them very happy.

For a few years, I felt lost without her — my daughter and my best friend were both gone. Sometimes I ‘feel’ Miss Ellie’s spirit near me, and once I was given a amazing gift of her presence.

Like most dogs, Miss Ellie had a particular smell to her. Because of her web feet and oily lab coat, the aroma was sometimes quite, well, pungent. If I did not stay on top of her baths, it was not unusual to hear Kalei or one of the kids say, “Miss Ellie, you stink, you can’t sit beside me” and then push her off the couch. She would sigh, walk over to her dog bed, lie down and stare longingly at where she really wanted to be.

One evening a couple of years ago, I was sitting on the couch watching TV. Out of nowhere, Miss Ellie scent filled my nostrils. It was so powerful and distinctly her, that I started smelling blankets, couches, what I was wearing — I checked everything I could to try and identify where it could be coming from. I asked myself, “How can this be happening? It has been years since her death and I have cleaning or washed everything many, many times since then. Where is this coming from?” I found nothing.

Sadly, the scent did not linger for long. When I sat back down and wondered about that experience, all I could do was open my mind and my heart to her gift by saying, “Hi Miss Ellie. I know you are here. I miss you, and love you so very much; thank-you for being my best friend.”

That was the last time I received that kind of a gift from her. There has been the odd day here or there when I would get a strong sense of her spirit, and know she is nearby but it would not last for long. Of late, that has all changed.

For the past month, Miss Ellie is front and centre in my mind. For whatever reason, her spirit has placed itself beside me, as if she was here to watch over me again. I think I might know why that is (and it’s not a bad thing), but until I know for sure, I will leave those words for another day.

For now, I am simply happy with the smile her presence brings to my face.