Last weekend I celebrated my first book signing at the Briercrest and District museum…how cool is that? Me? An Author! Not only was this a very unique experience on its own, but I was fortunate enough to be allowed to sign my books in the heritage cottage dedicated to a successful local Canadian poet, Edna Jacques. Edna had her first poem published at the age of 14 and became an internationally known writer and speaker. Many of her poems…..
My Introduction to Hiking – A Lifetime Ahead Story
The hard physical work of raising cattle and working on a grain farm — well into my adult years — kept me active and physically fit. Even in my youth, outside of participating in every sport available in our rural community, the thought of exercising just for the sake of it never entered my mind because at the end of each day my body was tired…I did not need to do crunches or yoga or hike for miles on top of…..
It is not just regular universe folk who struggle with what to say to the grieving; those of us forced into that world also have challenges…but for different reasons. When I meet someone and they introduce their unimaginable event, the first words out of my mouth are always, “I am so sorry”. Those four words — and sometimes a hug to go with them — are profound in their simplicity. After that, the conversation can go in all sorts of directions, especially…..
While I felt Kalei’s spirit leave this earth, she left in such an abrupt manner, the shock of it did not allow me to properly grasp the details of that occurrence…at least not in a way that gave me enough information to properly describe it. It was much different with my mom’s death. By the time early April 2015 rolled around, mom’s health was clearly failing. As it became more and more apparent that the end was near, I spoke to her about cancelling my upcoming trip to Maui but…..
Strangely enough, I am far more appreciative of Mother’s Day after Kalei died than I was when she was alive. I thought I’d hear the Happy Mother’s Day salutation forever and in doing so, did not give it the attentional respect my daughter’s words deserved. Now with mom’s death, the two people in my life who were critical to the importance of this day for me no longer on this earth, Mother’s Day can easily turn into one of those really bad grief days if…..
Death does not always have to be present for an event to be unimaginable. Looking at images of the Fort McMurray, Alberta wildfires I believe there will be far too many people — adults and children — who will have to go through the unimaginable law of repetition for a very long time before those thoughts can be properly placed in their memory bank. If you don’t believe me, think about your home as it stands. Now, take a look at…..
I must start this blog with an assurance …unless you are forced into an unimaginable event; your brain will never allow you to really understand. But that mental limitation does not mean you cannot still add to your knowledge of this kind of life experience. If you are bold enough to try, this blog will not only help those looking at the unimaginable from the inside out, but the people whose viewpoint is from the far safer outside looking in perspective. As mentioned in the book, we humans are…..
For a period of time after Kalei’s death, grief took control of the part of my brain that normally generates a positive emotional state. Feelings such as joy, humor, happiness, etc. ceased to exist. As a result, my body was not able to produce the sound of laughter. I did not fully appreciate this (or even noticed it was gone for that matter) aspect of my grieving journey for several years. In the beginning I did not care about how my lack of…..
“My name is Sandra Alley and I asked my good friend Lorene if I could guest blog once as I think that’s all I could manage! Writing this was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. I found myself going back to High School English class. Well, here goes… Our son Jarrett John Alley died unexpectedly of a brain aneurysm on December 14th, 1997 at the tender age of 13 years. Our lives — my husband, daughter Lauren’s and mine — would never ever be the same. Not only did our lives change but also the lives of Jarrett’s friends. What happens to his friends? Do we…..
Every now and then someone will say to me, “When you wrote and published Forever Kalei’s Mom, you took something bad — her death — and turned it into something good.” While I might not totally subscribe to the accuracy of that statement (it implies a conscious plan, and the book was anything but that), I appreciate the meaning behind their words. For me, the something of value (sorry, I just can’t use good) comes from the sum of three things: Kalei’s life, her death and the grief…..
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